Who’s Your Soccer Daddy?
Monday, March 13, 2006
  The Wrath of Arafat
Though Yasser (“Abu Noonian”) Arafat has been gone for a year now, Israel can’t afford to forget his obsessive hatred towards the enterprising state of Israel, and towards his long-time foe Ariel (“Teveria”) Sharon in particular. It is well-known that the soothing words which Arafat mouthed for Western ears were a cover for his true beliefs, expressed in Arabic for his own people’s consumption. Regrettably, I never took Arabic in college, since Elie-Expo and I were far too busy reading comic books and watching Star Trek reruns. But fortunately, courtesy of IMDB, the Israel Media Data Base (I think that’s what it stands for anyway), here are actual translated quotes from this evil man:

On the “Peace Process”:
“I've done far worse than kill you, Arik. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left my brave people: marooned for all eternity in the refugee camps, buried alive. Buried alive…

“Ah Arik, my old friend. Do you know the Arab proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold? It is very cold in Oslo!”

“Arik tasks me! He tasks me and I shall have him! I'll chase him 'round the Plantations of Wye and 'round the Camps of David and down Oslo’s ski slopes before I give him up!”

On Palestinian and Jewish History:
“My people have sworn to live and die at the Koran’s command two hundred years before there were any Jews in Palestine at all!”

“You mean… they never told you how 'Prime Minister' Arik sent seventy million of us into exile from our homes in Palestine into barren refugee camps, with only UNRWA aid to sustain us?”

On Victimhood:
“You are in a position to demand nothing. I, on the other hand, am in a position to grant… nothing. So give me some money already.”

Final Words:
“From 72 virgins arms, I stab at thee. For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee.”
That revenge line. I think I remember it in the original Klingon.
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With something like a 2-1,348 record as coach of my children's soccer teams why do I do it? Because it’s a great way to meet cute Soccer Moms! (Shhhh!)

March 2006 /

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